Go Away, Cutie McCuterton & Your Nefarious Friends

The year is young. The time is right to cast off tired old tricks that are just … tired.

Right now Twitter and the bloggers of copywriting and other dark arts are making their lists of phrases, words and etiquette terrors that need to bid adieu and quietly limp off into the “don’t” pile.

My top suggestions for immediate retirement, in no particular order …

Snark

People have come to refer to snarky, snippy copy as “familiar” or “conversational.” They are not the same and never were. SOME TRUTH: Snarky-ness just makes you sound like a disrespectful, dated ass. (I’m from the 90s … I know this)

Too Cool For School, or “You had to be there – it was fabulous. And if you weren’t there, you aren’t fabulous and I don’t know why you’re reading my awesome copy, dork.”

Inside jokes are cool if you’re 13 and want to make the other girls at the lunch table feel left out. If you’re writing copy, it just makes you look like a 13-year-old girl.

Impact. Interface. Utilize.

Effect. Talk. Use.

Twitter as telephone

.

Just send an email. Or a text. When someone’s super long twitter conversations fill my entire feed over and over again, I unfollow.

I’m at the QuickTrip in Westport. I’m the

mayor

of the QuickTrip in Westport.

I’m not following you anymore.

Cutie, Vacuous Headlines

Not enough time in the day. Simple, clean, sum-it-up headlines are dreamy and work every time.

And yes, I know. You can’t be all things to all people. Niche. Audience. I beat this drum constantly. However, there is a difference between a distinctive voice and snark bombs. Choose wisely and be well.